The last year and a half, almost two years, have been characterized by a systematic re-structuring of my life. Every day I try to take steps to grow and improve, to work on my own, to become a better person… all things that I ultimately really want to become not just a part of my life, but my whole life… and yet the resistance is unbelievable.
I wake up in the morning, and everything in me drags me back to bed, away from the computer and books, and down some rabbit holes of illusory productivity that is actually just thinly veiled procrastination and distraction from my larger goals. Resistance so strong, some days feel like I am swimming through molasses, dragging my hands and feet through impossibly thick non-willing… However, step by step, I am able to build my undisciplined self.
Every day, little by little, happiness becomes a reality.